At the beginning of the semester, I wrote about looking forward to my last year of undergraduate and how I’d like to romanticize my semester — which included attending the football games this season. Maybe it’s the newfound social anxiety I developed this semester — I’ve had a lot on my mind this fall, and I slowly secluded myself — but after attending my first and last home game as an undergraduate student, I’m disappointed I didn’t experience the college football season sooner. 

When I came to Cal, it didn’t occur to me that I’d become a small fish in a much bigger than expected pond. But that was my problem: I perceived these abstract concerns and thoughts as problems to solve in the future, when they were very real in real time. It has been quite the learning curve to navigate my time and experiences here — and no, not everything has been romanticized the way I hoped it would be.

However — it’s better late than never, right?

Doing things alone hasn’t been easy, and they usually aren’t. I have to muster the courage to forgo the anxiety and judgment I’m inflicting on myself and truly say “F–ck it, who cares?” because I want to do the things I’m interested in, to enjoy the moments I want to immerse myself in. Disappointingly, I often end up losing this battle and succumbing to the idea that an experience would be better suited to enjoy with a friend or a group of friends. 

Yet, I still find it ironically hysterical that I end up missing the experience I wanted because I opted to spend my time finding someone to share that experience with me, and the time spent waiting and searching almost always consumed the entirety of the experience I wanted to try. Then, it was easy to start pointing fingers, to start blaming the world and everyone around me for ruining my potential life experiences because I refused to do something alone.  

Time truly is of the essence, isn’t it?

My life is enveloped with constant distractions and future uncertainties, so the idea of living in the moment often takes a backseat. I always find it interesting that our motivations sometimes stem from where we least expect it, and we finally take charge and make conscious decisions. Reveling in the realization that it was the last home game, the foreboding fear of regret during post-grad motivated me to experience the college football season at Berkeley — with or without someone.

I wish there was more time, but it’s okay. College football is more than a sport; it’s a cultural phenomenon that brings students, alumni and communities together to celebrate the spirit of competition and school pride. The college football experience is a thrilling journey that extends far beyond the field. The camaraderie and enthusiasm are contagious, creating a sense of community and shared identity. There’s a palpable energy on college campuses when game day arrives. The air is filled with excitement as students and alumni don their school colors, decked out in spirited attire. 

Oh, what I’d do to go back in time and experience this from the beginning of the semester.

I’m well-aware that missing this experience isn’t the be-all end-all to my undergraduate experience because it certainly doesn’t define it. However, I can’t help but express mild disappointment with my decisions and wish I could change my past, but I’ll try and not dwell too much. 

Nevertheless, I’m grateful for the single experience I received before it was truly too late — and it certainly was a memorable experience for many reasons. 

In more ways than one, I’m reminded to continue doing things and enjoying experiences that enrich my life. Remembering to live life in the moment is not a passive act but a conscious choice.  To be fully present in each unfolding experience, I look forward to discovering the profound richness in the tapestry of everyday life whenever I seek it — with or without someone.